At the bottom of the hill when you've got to get your fill
there's a house tucked into the trees.
Peak into the yard and you can sneak into the party
and do just whatever you please.
If you need a place to park
pull it over in the dark,
but make sure the car is way out of sight.
Calamity Annie and Trumpeter Andy
they can keep a party secret alright.
When you look in from the outside,
you'll never know that we're cooking on the inside.
If I'm going, you can go in since
I'd be crazy to ever miss a party at the ranch.

They're singing, at the ranch they're swinging
at the ranch they do it all day
At the ranch they're jumping and the ranch they're pumping it's where everybody goes to play.

Eating hot tamales while we listen to the Hollies
waiting for the band to begin.
There's a knock upon the door, here comes a dozen more.
How we going to fit them all in?
Frat boys are paying while the Fathead is playing,
and the Bones are hitting it hard.
Bloodhound's sniffing and shady Dave's riffing
making Crop Circles in the backyard.
The party's a secret sensation,
the hottest occasion in the nation.
Everybody gets an invitiation.
To hell with everything in moderation at the ranch.

They're singing, at the ranch they're swinging
at the ranch they do it all day
At the ranch they're jumping and the ranch they're pumping it's where everybody goes to play.

Neighbors are losing their patience.
Police get called at the station.
Now we got complications, but
Big Mo blocks the invasion of the Ranch.

They're singing, at the ranch they're swinging
at the ranch they do it all day
At the ranch they're jumping and the ranch they're pumping it's where everybody goes to play.
They're singing, at the ranch they're swinging
at the ranch they do it all day
At the ranch they're jumping and the ranch they're pumping it's where everybody goes.
Everybody goes to the ranch.